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Emancipate Your Mind: 006: Difficult Conversations in Mixed Faith Relationships with Marriage Therapist, Kevin Hales

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Change is inevitable in our relationships.

As individuals we learn new information, we expand our understanding, and we change our values, beliefs, and lifestyles based on this new understanding.

This isn’t a failing, this is the natural course of maturing as a human being.

It’s said that “each of us gets married 3 different times in our life, and sometimes it’s to the same person.”

Because we grow and change so much throughout the course of our lives, it will be almost like we’re married to completely different people as we evolve over time.

Sometimes we grow together through these changes, and sometimes we grow apart.

When part of this change includes a faith transition, it can create special friction that Licensed Professional Counselor, Kevin Hales, and I address in this episode.

We discuss the often scary conversations we have in our partnerships that are part of the deconstruction process:

Do I enjoy the roles I’m currently filling in my life? Am I happy right now? Is this how I want to continue to live?

Now that the church or our faith is no longer binding us together, are we a good fit for each other?

How can we face the frightening prospect of possible divorce with honesty, shame resilience, and courage?

How do we decide our family values and beliefs?

How do we teach our children to be moral and kind people?

These questions can seem daunting, but when we learn to normalize the change process and learn to accept and appreciate each other as constantly evolving individuals, these questions can open the door to creating deepened trust in our relationships.


If you’d like some face-to-face support and tangible tools to help you build safer, more loving bonds in your relationships, sign up for the 2-hour “Becoming Soulmates” workshop Kevin and I are hosting on February 21st at 8pm ET/ 5pm PT on Zoom. The cost is $55 and you can sign up at the link here.

So often, we fall in love with a person and believe (or at least hope) that we are soul mates. We fall into the myth that the spark we feel at the beginning means we’ve found the one we’ll connect with forever. We believe that chemistry and time will create that bond.

But the reality is we don’t find that soul connection so much as create it through our actions. Anyone can become soul mates, but it takes some effort and often the unlearning of unhelpful habits and patterns often passed down to us through the generations.

Click the link below if you’d like to know how to build more safety and trust, communicate more clearly, and release old attachment hurts that influence our relationships in the present.


If you’re looking for more support and discussion on the topics you hear in this episode, come join us in the Facebook group.

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