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Emancipate Your Mind: 065: Honoring Your Parents While Disappointing Them

Most people want their parents’ approval. The fear of disappointing parents seems to be a near universal concern.

For those of us healing from high demand Christian religion, this is often compounded by the indoctrination that we must “honor father and mother” if we want to be a good person. And even worse, “honor” is often conflated with “obey” and then liberally mixed with a sense of entitlement.

This can cause problems for us as we mature into adulthood but also if our relationships with our parents were tumultuous or traumatic.

In this episode, we dismantle some of the unhealthy ideas embedded in the modern Christian understanding of “honor father and mother”, explore the underlying causes to parents’ inability to allow their children to differentiate and mature with dignity, and talk about new ways to frame “honoring” father and mother that also honor our own autonomy and personal authority in our lives.




References from this podcast:

“Untamed” by Glennon Doyle

Brenna Twohy- “Sometimes people use ‘respect’ to mean ‘treating someone like a person’ and sometimes they use ‘respect’ to mean ‘treating someone like an authority’. And sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say, ‘if you won’t respect me I won’t respect you’ and they mean ‘if you won’t treat me like an authority, then I won’t treat you like a person. And they think they’re being fair but they aren’t, and it’s not okay.”


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